America's Next Top Cartographer

I was minding my own business, watching "We Bought a Zoo," when I was struck by an idea for a new television reality show.  Now, I know that not all of my show pitches have been winners¹, but I am really excited about the possibilities of this one.

Since a majority of the earth's surface has been explored and documented, the art of map-making may today seem somewhat diminished in importance.  But there are relatively recent examples of thrilling expeditions that led to new understanding and important discoveries.  For example, in the mid 1930's, representatives of what would become Texaco, during early scouting missions, mapped much of Saudi Arabia.

Since all of us are consumers of maps, in one way or another, it is an art form that can never go away altogether.  Therefore, it's important to identify the generation of stars in this field.  That's what my new show, "America's Next Top Cartographer," aims to do.

Hosted by Nicholas Cage² Alex Trebek, the show's format introduces a new challenge every week.  Here are a few episode overviews:

Week 1: Blank Map competition, where contestants draw a map of the United States from scratch.  Viewers will be encouraged to participate from home, and tweet their efforts.  Anyone who remembers to put Delaware on their map outs him or herself as a cheater.

Week 4: Treasure Hunt.  Contestants will pair up, with one producing a map of the basement level of the Luxor in Las Vegas, and the teammate relying on that map to simply get out of the casino.  Currently, it is widely believed that no such document exists.

Week 5: Fixer-Upper.  In this grueling challenge, players will apply for entrance into four-year computer engineering programs at MIT, Cal Berkeley, or Carnegie Mellon, graduate, apply for a job at Apple, and subsequently overhaul Apple's Maps application so that it actually works.

Week 10 (finale): This one I have to keep a secret, right?  But it's going to involve some high-pressure field documentation.

The winner of the show will receive a $1500 gift card to Pier 1 Imports, and will also have proved his or her worth to me as a potential member of my 2015 Mongol Rally team.  I'm beginning to put together a trip to South America for next summer, and after that, I'll start looking pretty seriously at doing the 10,000 mile road trip across Eurasia the following year.    

¹My latest flop?  A fantasy-themed dating show, where I pitched myself in the role of "the bachelor", keeping company with a number of beautiful, exotic women.

²Nicholas Cage will not host the show, but will rather be a celebrity contestant, and the early Vegas favorite to win.