In response to concerns that Wikileaks has compromised the blog's most sensitive secrets

Astute followers of the blog rightly have suspicions that this entire narrative is in fact one long coded message to myself. And in fact it is. I've learned that I cannot trust certain critical bits of information - the locations of safehouses on various west coast college campuses, where to go in San Francisco for the best hipster coffee, soft-core voyeur websites that look innocent in my browser history - to my perpetually fuzzy memory. So, using an elaborate cypher, I record them on this site.*

I'm no fool, however; I recognize that the blog's resounding popularity (5+ hits per day) has triggered some alarms within the State Department. But despite the recent news that Wikileaks has published thousands of classified documents to the webs, I haven't lost any sleep. There's only one way to obtain my most guarded secrets, and we don't yet have that technology.

But there is one thing that could come back to bite me when I choose to pursue diplomatic work in the future. In what seems like an entirely different age, I shared a one-sided, poorly worded Myspace comment exchange with The Girl Next Door. Given the possible impacts to my reputation if too much of this gets out, plus the fact that no one has logged onto Myspace in at least 24 months, I've taken steps tonight to permanently delete my profile.

Goodbye, Top 8.

Goodbye, Girl Next Door. It's been real.**

*This very post, for instance, is actually a reminder to me of the exact frequency of the brown note, and the obscure trio of woodwind instruments required to produce it.

**Holla at me, though, k?